Life Cycle of a Birth Board

Here's the life cycle of a birth board:

It starts 10 months before babies are due, with about 10 people who have been going from birth board to birth board as they TTC. This is a very weird phenomenon to me.

People find out they're pregnant and suddenly there are a million intro threads.

Someone takes the bull by the horns and recommends one intro thread so that things aren't so cluttered.

Everyone thanks her. Many smilies.

There are a million threads about people who are so thankful to find this birth board. Lots of hyperbole about how this is the best bunch of ladies EVER.

Someone posts a question about morning sickness. Lots of "Me too!!'s.

People start posting lots of pregnancy related questions, concerns, worries, happinesses. Other people have answers. Lots of support and help. Life is good.

A few people get the blood tests to determine gender. Others decry them as stupid/wasteful. Debates ensue.

20 weeks into the pregnancies, everyone gets their big ultrasounds and there are daily updates. No one keeps track of who's having what, but there are "pink/blue team" score cards kept, and some people become hyper INTO those.

About 6 months into the pregnancies, someone asks "So what do you think about inductions/C-sections/natural birth?" Drama ensues. Flames are flung from both directions.

"Who's going to breastfeed?"
"If you're having a boy, will you circumcise?"
etc.

A couple months of high drama. Hosts step in, remind people of the guidelines, no personal attacks, keep it nice, etc. There is reminiscing of how nice the board was when everyone was finding out they were pregnant, how supportive everyone was.

People calm down, become more comfortable with their own decisions.

Someone goes into labor very early and there is an onslaught of support and daily updates on the kid in the NICU. Donations are made, baby items sent. Someone points out that in light of such things, all the drama is very out of place.

Insert three trillion name polls.

36-ish weeks into it, babies are born and don't stop coming. Lots of "Micah Steven is HERE!" threads. Everyone is thrilled for everyone.

Lots of castor oil threads here.

39-ish weeks into it, people are hurt that they're not getting as many responses and congrats on their birth story threads as the 36-week people.

After the babies arrive, there are a ton more questions that everyone has. Everyone bonds again, and is too tired to argue anyway. Sleep issues, reflux issues, poop issues, umbilical cord issues, penile readhesion issues, etc., etc., etc.

Everyone swaps formula coupons with everyone else, and some just keep asking for coupons.

What kind of diapers do you use? This is the hot question.

Drama issues switch to sleeping arrangements, how long people plan to breastfeed.

Photo Uno begins.

Some moms experience PPD, everyone bands around to help them and make suggestions.

Someone makes the comment that this board has by FAR the cutest babies of any of the other birth boards.

Someone comments that the board seems a little slow, and starts fun polls to keep things interesting.

The board experiences its first troll (or at least finds out that they've been experiencing one). People delete their Photobucket accounts, post warnings about posting photos and personal information on the board, and go on rampages to uncover all of the information on the troll.

For the first time, personal drama between members erupts over something entirely non-related to babies.

Mods are called in, things cool off.

Insert vaccination debates.

Around 11 months, someone asks "How long will your child stay rear-facing?" Drama erupts. YouTube videos are posted daily. People are, by now, much more comfortable in their own parenting skins, and respond to drama by saying things like "Rear-facing? I thought it was OK to pull them in a wagon behind the car!"

80% of the threads are now entirely unrelated to parenting.

Latent drama (over any of the previous issues) that has festered between 4 or 5 of the more outspoken posters comes to a head. Groups band around each side, with a large third group telling everyone to get along and play nice.

A private board is created. People on the birth board find out. Another private board is created. The birth board resembles a ghost town except for 6 people who have no freaking clue what is going on.

People start threads on the birth board aimed at people on the opposite private board. Uninformed posters are sucked in unwittingly to the drama.

Hosts warn about bringing off-board drama on to the board. People figure out how to do it anyway.

People leave the birth board with big fanfare and lots of "Noooo! Don't goooo!". They decide to stay, and post a thread telling everyone.

People get sick of the "I'm leaving" threads and take pot shots at those posting them.

Things calm down, people leave for good and some stay and quit talking about leaving.

People want to make things better on the board, and decide the way to do that is to initiate all kinds of new fun polls. The "kill this thread" thread is started.