Blondes & Cops

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! You're hired! But, how in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said,” Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Blind Man in a Biker Bar

A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter,'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given that you're blind, that you should know five things:
1)The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2)The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3)I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4)The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5)The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously Mister, do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who is blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so, that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out."
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "...And where do you think you're going?!"
(You're gonna love this....)

She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."