Mom's Christmas List

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years...

Here are my Christmas Wishes:

1. A pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids( no purple ones please )

2. Arms that don't flap in the breeze, but strong enough to carry a toddler.

3. A waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

4. A talking daughter doll that says, " Yes Mommy" to boost my parental confidence.

5. Three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

6. Declare ketchup a vegetable, to clear my conscience when feeding it to my children.

7. A recording of Tibetan monks chanting " Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother", because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range.

8. Playdough Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products or services, I'll settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas Miracles to brighten the holiday season.

Well Santa, The buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always.....Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa Claus.